Lucy (2014) Review – Insultingly Terrible

Don’t waste your time with this nonsense. Whatever misguided assumptions you’ve made from the trailer, they’re wrong. This was not only a waste of money, but a waste of time as well. At least it was a short waste of time. The best summary I can give is “no.”

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Every character is soulless. No one has a single motivation as they robotically move forward as the script demands. Not even death seems to be a good enough reason to act. I would say the movie is short and to the point, listing it as a positive, but I’m not entirely sure what the point was. Lucy (Scarlet Johansson) is forced into delivering drugs in short order, avoiding any clunky setup. There was no character development, which was fine as she wasn’t a character. Once she ‘transformers,’ she becomes placid and emotionless. Why Johansson, one of the most charismatic actresses today, was chosen for this role, I have no idea. This was the same mistake made with After Earth.

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Morgan Freeman played the role of exposition-man wonderfully. I couldn’t think of a better person to a portray a character whose sole purpose was to explain everything. At least he brought the voice. Let’s not forget about that old ‘10% of the human brain’ chestnut that the plot’s based on. Since Freeman, whose character came out of nowhere, explained it to me, I was more apt to believe it (it’s a myth by the way).

To be fair, Johansson and Freeman are superb actors, doing the best with what they’ve been handed. While it’s easy to forgive pretenses like plot or motivation if action takes it place, it too was lacking, making everything fall apart. Lucy is overloaded with some fictitious synthetic drug and can see sound and what not (think Akira), but apparently her imagination was handicapped in the process. One particular scene exemplifies this. What does she do when she has the drug cartel cornered? Makes them float in the air, stuck to each other. Apparently her abilities are directly proportional to the budget.

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Speaking of budget, might be a bad idea to have terrible CG apes in your movie that opens two weeks after Planet of the Apes. Andy Serkis can’t be in everything, so it’s slightly forgivable. When the dinosaurs from Jurassic Park look better than your 2014 movie though, you have problems.

The final act was a joke. I laughed aloud as the Korean cartel geared up for their assault while the police could be seen storming the building in the background. Why didn’t the police, I don’t know, shot them then, when they were still preparing? Better still, why didn’t Lucy take care of the threat before overdosing again with her band of cliche scientists (top men indeed)? Same reason, manufactured conflict. And the sum of existence was downloaded to a USB stick? Ugh.

Honestly, I can continue, for a while, but I’d rather not waste my time. Lucy was a terrible movie that wasn’t bad so much as it was insulting. I didn’t leave the theater angry, it takes a special type of movie to do that. Instead, I was disgruntled. Someone tell the guys at Rifftrax they have new fodder.

Were you as let down as I was? What was your favorite hamfisted moment? Comment below!

Participles dangling left and right, and I don’t care. 

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6 responses to “Lucy (2014) Review – Insultingly Terrible

  1. I hated the scene in the trailer where she asked a random Taiwanese guy “Do you speak english” with a gun in his face….and just shot him dead. WTF?! I thought she was smarter….how is a gun going to make somebody speak english….if anything they’ll forget the English that they know. F*** this movie. You should read what Olivia Cole wrote about it on Huffington Post.

  2. Pingback: Around the Web – 7/27/14 | The Credible Hulk·

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