Skyfall Review – I’m Out

I don’t like James Bond. I never have. Granted, I loved the Goldeneye game, but that’s as James Bond as Mario. The movies though, never cared for them. Slow, nonsensical, overwrought. I was forced to watch Casino Royale at one point (before Quantum of Solace released). The reboot was amazing. Grounded, with a tight plot and gripping action. My level of excitement was high for Quantum, which failed to deliver. There were reasons though, mostly due to the writers strike. Then came Skyfall, with plot holes large enough I could drive a truck through.

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I was more excited for Skyfall then I was Quantum. This was poised to be the second coming of Royale, when it was anything but. The opening scene quickly let me know of the stupidity to come. The theater was packed on opening weekend, every seat taken. Bond, desperate to catch his prey, runs his motorcycle into the side of the bridge, catapulting him onto the train below. You could imagine how annoyed everyone in the quiet theater was when I burst out laughing. And why was everyone, including the train operators, cool with the back half being ripped off?

The bullet in Bond’s shoulder annoyed me the most. It was radioactive. First off, how was did it not kill him? Regular ‘ol non radioactive bullets left in people can kill them from infection. How does one with depleted Uranium isotopes not kill him? Or at very least make him sick? The science nerd in me couldn’t accept this.

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Then there’s Q. It worked out better that he wasn’t present in the previous entries. The entire conceit of the character was never more than comical. “Here’s a bunch of random stuff that you’d be hard pressed to us in a normal situation. I just happen to know this this is exactly what you’ll need later to save your life.” Not only was the character goofy here , he doled out pedestrian equipment. He had better gear in the previous movies without Q’s help.

Silva’s plan was idiotic. Not the goal; revenge, I get it. The execution broke the plot. How did he know to plant explosives in the train tunnel? How did he know that chase would happen? I liked the villain in general. He was an interesting deviation from previous archetypes, but his plan represented everything I hate about Bond.

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The entire Skyfall concept bothered me too. It was set up in the trailers to be something big, like some spy codeword possibly referencing an old, buried secret. Nope, just his parent’s house. During the word association, he acted like a petulant teenager, getting all pissy at the mention of his parents. Hopefully you can hear me rolling my eyes.

I actively disliked this movie as I watched it. Usually, I disconnect while watch, trying to take in and enjoy the experience, reflecting on it later. If a movie has enough jarring or logic breaking scenes, it pulls me out. When this continues, I actively begin to dislike the experience. Skyfall immediately turned me off at the opening, and continued to annoy for the next 2+ hours. I won’t be paying money to see the next Bond film.

Did you like Skyfall? Why? No, really. Comment below, on Facebook, or Twitter! You can now see my Saturday Morning Cartoon posts at The Two-Headed Nerd!

And the Home Alone ending. Sheesh.

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3 responses to “Skyfall Review – I’m Out

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