The Lone Ranger Review – Featuring the Human Cartoons

Prompting past works and the names that brought you said work is common practice for movie trailers. Do it enough times, and people learn what to see or not see. Much like how every M. Night Shyamalan mentioned “The 6th
Sense.” That is, until After Earth. Not a mention of Shyamalan or 6th Sense. I think now the names “Jerry Bruckheimer, “Gore Verbinski”, and “Pirates of the Caribbean” have official lost marquee value. People are going to begin to associate those names with Pirates 2 & 3, and The Lone Ranger.


The movie isn’t bad, it’s just not very good. There were plenty of moments I enjoyed that generated laughs, mostly from Johnny Depp. Armie Hammer (as opposed to Navy Wrench), gave a good performance as the titular character. The pair worked incredibly well together, having excellent on screen chemistry. I loved watching them work together. Every scene the two were in thoroughly entertained. The problem came in when they weren’t on screen. The movie clocks in at 2.5 hours. This created plenty of scenes for other characters which were flat out boring. All of them gave a straight forward performance. They weren’t bad, they just didn’t bring anything interesting. The love interest had no flair to her, and her son was like every other no name child actor. I really don’t understand why Helena Bonham Carter was in the movie at all. If an hour were removed from the movie, it would have enhanced the final product.

Ranger opens with a carnival in 1933 San Francisco. A child, dressed as the Lone Ranger goes into an exhibit. The wax doll of an old “Noble Savage” begins speaking to the boy. This old version of Tonto, tells him the story of the Lone Ranger. I really didn’t understand the point of this framing device. The movie begins and ends with it, having a few scenes of the two sprinkled throughout. The entire thing was pointless. As I stated before though, the scenes with Tonto and the Ranger were generally entertaining. Some of the slapstick Depp did was completely over the top, detracting from it slightly (the bird cage shtick). His performance was very similar to the 43 times he’s played Jack Sparrow. Many of his movements and line deliveries were the same, which isn’t a negative. As can easily be spied from the trailers, many of the action set pieces were of the far fetched to impossible variety. Generally, I don’t care for this type of action. Expecting it though, coupled with the general zaniness helped make it more palatable.


There were a lot of dark tones in the movie, cannibals and such, that oddly juxtaposed the comedy. I don’t think the movie knew what it wanted to be. Which is slightly understandable considering the numerous rewrites. Ranger has been in development for years, with production being shutdown on numerous occasions due to budget concerns. The movie budget ballooned to $300 million. Originally, there was to be more of a supernatural element with Werewolves and such, which was completely removed. Traces of this can still be seen as a silver mine, and silver bullet, are still plot points. The ending credits had old man Tonto walking through the desert. I foolish stayed to watch, thinking something was going to happen (nothing does). I did see how many CG animators worked on the film. Holy crap. I guess all the money went towards animating the carnivorous rabbits (that’s a thing). That I really wonder how hard it was to work with that horse. The horse gave an excellent performance.


The Lone Ranger is entertaining in parts, and a good movie for families to watch. Maybe worth a rental if you’re curious, but not much beyond that. I really hope we don’t get endless sequels to this like we do Pirates. That crap needs to stop. For reals yo.

Did you see The Lone Ranger? Too much or not enough Tonto? Comment below, on Facebook, or Twitter! You can now see my Saturday Morning Cartoon posts at The Two-Headed Nerd!

The Lone Ranger is The Green Hornet’s grandfather.


3 responses to “The Lone Ranger Review – Featuring the Human Cartoons

  1. Pingback: Secret Identities – Of a Bygone Era? | The Credible Hulk·

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